© Tom Petner 2012 Home Fires - Libba Jackson-D'Ambrosi Comments Libba Jackson-D’Ambrosi LIBBA JACKSON-D’AMBROSI is married to Fred D'Ambrosi, who is the Director of News/Information Center at WUSA9 in D.C.  Libba describes herself as a serial punctuator, wife, and mother of two amazing adult children, whose ages are no longer counted in months.  A proud University of Missouri J-School graduate, her job history in television and radio includes reporting, producing, and assignment editing.   More recently she has worked in university development, and youth advocacy.      8/26/2011 Home Front Planning For ‘The Big Story’ The East Coast earthquake and hurricane Irene within the same week nudged me into writing about the unique home front planning required ahead of The Big Story.  Journalism families need to think about lesser difficulties like dinner or parent teacher conferences. But don’t avoid the possibility that a spouse and/or kids will be home alone during the very emergency the news spouse is covering.  The spouse with the non-news job must become safety chief, though both parents can come up with the planning and emergency supplies.  If both  parents are working in news, I suggest building strong friendships with some fellow school parents, and cooperating with any nearby relatives.  Like a good but complex news event  a few weeks away,  our Big Story challenges will be easier if we talk logistics now instead of just plunking the difficult topic into a “futures” file. Since we lived in California, we had a plan for “the big one”, even though San Diego is not on major earthquake fault lines.  Our daughter was supposed to walk to her grandmother’s nearby home, followed by a drive south to our house if conditions allowed.   We kept food and water in a spot I hoped would be accessible if the house collapsed. We had a propane grill for cooking in case the gas and electricity was cut. But nature dealt us wildfire.  Two wildfires in San Diego taught me a few more important lessons.  • Be nimble:  When we were told to evacuate, I booked a hotel room (which allowed pets) in an area away from the canyons. My mother-in-law and I loaded up a car with photos, dogs, computers, and a few important papers, and headed to the hotel.  This early action allowed Fred to get a good night’s sleep that night. The next day we stayed with our generous friends John and Susan (who love dogs. We had four because Amy was dog-sitting.)Get off-site computer backup.  Storage “in the cloud” would have kept our computers out of the car. • Create a “to go box” near your best door, with important papers such as,  Social Security cards, birth certificates, wills, insurance policies, deeds,  backup eye glasses, prescription numbers, phone numbers, passports, and copies of other important ID cards or account numbers.   Send a second set of the Box contents to a family member in another city. Store the backup info “in the cloud” too, but of course you might not have immediate access to computers in a physical emergency.  Off-site storage is also great for out-of-town situations such as illness, or transportation delays. • Designate one family member you will contact in an emergency.  It’s time- consuming and a drain on the telephone network (needed for first responders and news media) to contact everyone individually. • Make sure you understand how to locate or operate things your spouse usually manages:  gas shutoff valve, sump pump, weed whacker. (Actually I would probably just let the weeds grow!) I don’t think we had a formal discussion with our young kids that Daddy might not be available in an emergency. They didn’t seem to be scared when we read books in the basement with a radio but no daddy during a tornado warning.  “Daddy’s at work” usually did the trick.  Depending on the developmental stage and personalities, delayed or missed dinners  can be the prompt for a discussion with children on why Mom or Dad may have to miss some events because of hard work to tell people what’s happening each day.  Older children could help with planning and a 10-minute drill. War correspondents must have some very difficult conversations.  But in most news families I surmise children adjust, and are most upset about a parent missing the big game, the recital, the play, or the concert. Of course this planning is beneficial for any family. News family vulnerabilities are perhaps just in sharper focus.  You may never completely get used to the fact that bearing bad news butters your bread, but with a thoughtful backup plan, food, water, and the To Go Box you are ready for the next Big Story. If you don’t need to evacuate, just get your bag of chips, and tune in for continuous coverage on that channel you always watch.  At least until the power goes out, when it’s time to eat the melting ice cream. What’s your favorite Homefires strategy or nagging challenge?  E-mail me at: Libba@the247newsroom.com 5/25/2011 Surviving a Move - Ten Tips from a Newswife I’ve been a newswife for almost 34 years.  My husband Fred and I met as students in the J-School at University of Missouri. We’ve lived in seven markets, I mean cities. Since I’m probably further down the road than some, I’m offering some musings on lessons learned.  Some are great decisions we made, and others cautionary tales.  The most important tip is the one I’m still trying to learn. Pack light:  Television moves happen quickly, which in our case often left many move details to me.  I regret that I have hauled too much stuff with us.  Longfellow said: The heart hath its own memory, Like the mind, And in it are enshrined the precious keepsakes. While we can’t pack our friends in the moving van, relationships are what we should carry along instead of possessions.  Find a place for everything you keep or let it go.  As the organizer Peter Walsh advises, it doesn’t honor anyone to keep a gift in a box.  Better yet, live lean as you go. (Attic and basement in Milwaukee were more curse than blessing as it turned out.) And remember to measure. This time we forgot to look at the clearances on stairs, so we brought along furniture that could not go in the basement or second floor.  Cry, then pack:  I’ve tried—and failed—to push through closing down a house, planning to cry tomorrow.  Last move, I caught a cold.  What worked better for me is breaking up tasks with time for tears with or about friends and family. Internal baggage won’t disappear:   I think family problems are not caused by a geographic change alone.  Personality, quirks, and learning styles will always ride along to a new home.  It was helpful that our kids had only one move during their pre-college years.  Knowing they had to make new friends was my biggest anxiety, but the challenges of whom to hang out with would have come anywhere. Find a school first:  We researched which neighborhoods had good elementary and high schools, then looked at houses in those areas.  Use your networks to find friends of friends to guide you. Even if you don’t have kids it can impact resale of your house.  These days,  we should all consider renting. Live close to work:  We found houses with a short commute. This maximizes family time, especially dinner together, which research has shown reduces teen use of alcohol and other drugs.  In our latest move to Washington D.C. we downsized to one car because we walk and use mass transit. Consider the developmental stage:   Think about what your children’s concerns might be, and then just ask.  When we were going to move to San Diego, Fred asked the kids whether they had any questions.  Our daughter, finishing third grade, asked, “Do dogs move with families or stay with the house?”  Excellent question we had not thought about.  She had started taking acting classes in the recreation department, so also wanted to know “if they had that in California.”  Of course we sang “Hollywood, dah dah dah dah dah dah dah Hollywood,”  and assured her we would be able to find acting classes.  In our new neighborhood we found a wonderful non-profit theatre that proved to be a great source of personal growth and resiliency.  Take your own developmental stage into consideration too.  How can this move allow you to nourish or reinvent yourself?  Jump back in:  Volunteering in the new community makes new friends, prevents boredom, and opens doors for employment.  For me that meant writing and media strategies in schools and non-profits.   I have also been block captain in two cities, which literally gave me permission to knock on doors to get to know neighbors.   Exercise classes are also good ways to meet people, to talk or walk later. Let technology do the heavy lifting:   Online research quickly delivers facts on whether to move, and where/whether to buy.  Managing contacts via computer is a great time-saver, and off-site storage gives me peace of mind too.  Digital photography is saving us space, and makes sharing simple.  I’m enjoying making photo albums here, so that long-time friends can envision where we are and what I’m up to. Biology is an undeniable factor in my newswife life equation, since I bore two children; but being the following spouse is perhaps the more relevant factor.   After children are born, parents can split the care as they choose, but the spouse with the highest earning power will usually need to work full time, leaving primary responsibilities for children and home to the other parent.  I’ve mourned jobs I had to walk away from, but it was great to have more time home with kids.  In our case, moves for the primary breadwinner have had an unintended consequence—encouraging me to find jobs outside of television that use my core skills. Bloom where planted: Deciding to move was never easy, because our family enjoyed everywhere we lived.  But this appreciation is probably the same reason we soon put down roots in a different part of the country.  Cameron and Julia attended and graduated college out of state because they were secure enough to leave the nest.  Each one of us is more compassionate and stronger because of the adaptations we’ve made along the way.  What’s your favorite Homefires strategy or nagging challenge?  E-mail me at: Libba@the247newsroom.com

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